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Writing Challenge - Round 1: Results
#1
Ok everyone. The results thread is open. Let’s see what you came up with using the worlds golden and ash. I won’t  open with mine, because that just feels somewhat unsavoury.
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#2
From the other thread:

"I thought I'd felt the full extent of a mother's pain the day I held your tiny purple body in the hospital, alone but for the lifeless shell you left behind. Today, as then, I am alone. I've gone to where the mountains meet the sea. My favorite place. A place I dreamed of bringing you. Instead, I have this nightmare in the palm of hand. Ashes clenched in my fist slip out with the wind between my fingers. Holding my hand high in front of my face, I open the steel grip I wish I could have kept on your life, freeing your remains to float on the wind, illuminated in the golden hues of a heartbreaking sunrise.

The End"

Come on, buttholes. Let's see what you've done.
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#3
As Ashes floated silently over the golden arches. Twisting and turning with the warm currents.
Dipping and spinning as the current changed direction. Now heading East then heading South. Hovering once again over the golden arches, Ashes admired the way the shimmering light pouring in from above highlighting the sunken city of Florida.

The end.
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#4
Shelz, I commented on the other thread, but I found this to be heartbreaking. Very powerful and moving. Well done

Thanks Bel...at first I had vision of ash floating in the sky of San-Fran after a fire...but the sunken city got me. Did a google and found out there is an actual sunken city and Ash is a scuba diver. You got me engaged and I learnt something :-) well done.

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#5
My offering:

It was first noticed by a postgraduate performing dark matter research for their Master of Science degree. While digging through some optical slide data they noticed an irregular pulsing from a point in deep space. After training Hubble on the location and peering for months it was confirmed; a giant planet sized golden crystal dodecahedron…spinning rapidly in space. All explanations of a natural made phenomena were dismissed when the pulsating light emanating from the structure was found to contain a message. It didn’t take the experts long to decode the message – it didn’t employ any encryption or any form of trickery.

The message was in fact, in effect, a warning. Not a warning of invasion or any kind of pending universal doom, but an indirect warning to learn from their mistakes. The crystal dodecahedron was created by them as a communications device within their own solar system – internally powered by some exotic power source and providing over a billion laser beams that point in all directions into space. In the message we learned that they had a wonderful cohesive yet diverse society where all beings were equal and treated with respect. They didn’t work for an income but instead performed functions that they were naturally most suited for. Basic requirements and jobs deemed undesirable were handed by automation. All beings were provided and cared for.

Their downfall came from their own form of social media. They were a species the conveyed emotion primarily through scent, but were otherwise visual like we are. Where we might be able to discern millions of colours with our eye, they could do so with scent. Certain beings had a primary scent type, that in some way grouped being into a particular category – somewhat similar to our gender categories, but a bit more complex, as there were at least 8 primary scent orders and 32 secondary scent divisions. The issue they found was that their form of social media (what some might term fartbook) began to create divisions within their society. Beings became jealous of other beings who were projecting auras of superiority. This started creating friction within their former unified society.

Division began to occur along primary odour orders and beings started to segregate themselves. This had never happened in the entire evolution of the planet. The problem was that they did not realise that they were all in a symbiotic relationship, and they required the olfactory pollination of other beings for their own health and wellbeing. Interestingly, this made them more intelligent, but it also made them insane. In the planets’ last remaining show of unity, the beings did unite to create a giant network of rail guns, which they subsequently used to launch themselves into space. They also constructed the crystal dodecahedron using robots as they knew they could not communicate via scent in space and had to rely on light. What they failed to realise though was that they couldn’t survive in space unprotected, and subsequently they all died soon after launch. As such, there are over 1 billion of these beings floating in space, and have been for some 1 billion years.

Still…the message was not explicitly a warning, although from the context of our current society’s function was one. There was at least one entity that remained amongst the ash of their civilisation. They thought that since everyone else had launched into space, they didn’t need to and remained on the surface. They however used the dodecahedron to broadcast a repeating message. It simply said “If you see Gary, can you ask him where he left the keys to the beer fridge”. As it turns out, this being forgot to turn off the video feed and left their form of a TV running in the background so the Gary message contains months of valuable social data. Investigation is ongoing.
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#6
(04-26-2018, 01:31 AM)Duff Moss Wrote: My offering:

It was first noticed by a postgraduate performing dark matter research for their Master of Science degree. While digging through some optical slide data they noticed an irregular pulsing from a point in deep space. After training Hubble on the location and peering for months it was confirmed; a giant planet sized golden crystal dodecahedron…spinning rapidly in space. All explanations of a natural made phenomena were dismissed when the pulsating light emanating from the structure was found to contain a message. It didn’t take the experts long to decode the message – it didn’t employ any encryption or any form of trickery.

The message was in fact, in effect, a warning. Not a warning of invasion or any kind of pending universal doom, but an indirect warning to learn from their mistakes. The crystal dodecahedron was created by them as a communications device within their own solar system – internally powered by some exotic power source and providing over a billion laser beams that point in all directions into space. In the message we learned that they had a wonderful cohesive yet diverse society where all beings were equal and treated with respect. They didn’t work for an income but instead performed functions that they were naturally most suited for. Basic requirements and jobs deemed undesirable were handed by automation. All beings were provided and cared for.

Their downfall came from their own form of social media. They were a species the conveyed emotion primarily through scent, but were otherwise visual like we are. Where we might be able to discern millions of colours with our eye, they could do so with scent. Certain beings had a primary scent type, that in some way grouped being into a particular category – somewhat similar to our gender categories, but a bit more complex, as there were at least 8 primary scent orders and 32 secondary scent divisions. The issue they found was that their form of social media (what some might term fartbook) began to create divisions within their society. Beings became jealous of other beings who were projecting auras of superiority. This started creating friction within their former unified society.

Division began to occur along primary odour orders and beings started to segregate themselves. This had never happened in the entire evolution of the planet. The problem was that they did not realise that they were all in a symbiotic relationship, and they required the olfactory pollination of other beings for their own health and wellbeing. Interestingly, this made them more intelligent, but it also made them insane. In the planets’ last remaining show of unity, the beings did unite to create a giant network of rail guns, which they subsequently used to launch themselves into space. They also constructed the crystal dodecahedron using robots as they knew they could not communicate via scent in space and had to rely on light. What they failed to realise though was that they couldn’t survive in space unprotected, and subsequently they all died soon after launch. As such, there are over 1 billion of these beings floating in space, and have been for some 1 billion years.

Still…the message was not explicitly a warning, although from the context of our current society’s function was one. There was at least one entity that remained amongst the ash of their civilisation. They thought that since everyone else had launched into space, they didn’t need to and remained on the surface. They however used the dodecahedron to broadcast a repeating message. It simply said “If you see Gary, can you ask him where he left the keys to the beer fridge”. As it turns out, this being forgot to turn off the video feed and left their form of a TV running in the background so the Gary message contains months of valuable social data. Investigation is ongoing.
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#7
The Golden One


They buried her grandmother again, today.

They only dug one six-foot deep hole for her grave under the ash trees in the small-town cemetery. But Cindy had witnessed her grandmother’s burial by family members multiple times over the years.

These burials hadn’t required the digging up of the red clay of South Dakota. They buried her under heaps of resentment and accusation, petty grievances that compounded with each repetition of the infraction.

Cindy had hoped the finality of her grandmother’s last breath might bring some sense of remorse, a recalling of positive attributes by her grandmother’s siblings. Her hope was quickly dashed.

“I don’t know why I bothered to show up,” Bill, grandmother’s youngest brother said as he sat down at the family table in the church basement.

“Free food,” offered his sister Cheryl with a smirk on her face.

Bill shrugged. He had piled his plate high with sandwiches and church lady casseroles. He’d go back later for a few desserts. Cindy was sure of that.

“Why’re you here?” he responded.

“We’re family. We’re supposed to be here,” she said. “Even if she was the “golden one.”

That’s what they always called her grandmother, the “golden one.” Cindy had never known what it meant exactly. When she’d asked her grandmother, she’d just shake her head and tell her it wasn’t important.

Cindy had been raised by her grandparents. Yet, all those years, she hadn’t been able to decipher what had created such a rift between her and her two younger siblings. Her grandmother never had a negative word to say about her brother or sister. She seemed to pity them. Maybe now that she was gone, she could uncover the answer.

(04-26-2018, 01:31 AM)Duff Moss Wrote: My offering:

It simply said “If you see Gary, can you ask him where he left the keys to the beer fridge”.

Love it, Duff.
Katie M
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#8
Sunshine does not grace my day anymore. Sorrow litters my mind with the ash of yesteryears memory that my tears cannot consume. My mind has erected a fortress of stone, and the golden moments shared with you have died away since, but within that fortress, love's last dying rays exist like a candle's gleam to reinforce my hope with the fact that in this life or next, you'll be mine. But for now, I miss you terribly, my love.
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#9
Thanks Katie and Miraj - both very said but in different ways.

I think Katie, that is a situation that happens all to often in families. It's a pity isn't it. There seems to be no force greater than human pride and stubbornness. Love how that started - buried her grandmother again...hooked me in for sure.

Miraj - that was very moving. Great imagery. Well done.


See - this is what I love about these things...how different the reponses are...from two simple words.
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#10
(04-26-2018, 01:07 PM)KatieM Wrote: The Golden One


They buried her grandmother again, today.

They only dug one six-foot deep hole for her grave under the ash trees in the small-town cemetery. But Cindy had witnessed her grandmother’s burial by family members multiple times over the years.

These burials hadn’t required the digging up of the red clay of South Dakota. They buried her under heaps of resentment and accusation, petty grievances that compounded with each repetition of the infraction.

Cindy had hoped the finality of her grandmother’s last breath might bring some sense of remorse, a recalling of positive attributes by her grandmother’s siblings. Her hope was quickly dashed.

“I don’t know why I bothered to show up,” Bill, grandmother’s youngest brother said as he sat down at the family table in the church basement.

“Free food,” offered his sister Cheryl with a smirk on her face.

Bill shrugged. He had piled his plate high with sandwiches and church lady casseroles. He’d go back later for a few desserts. Cindy was sure of that.

“Why’re you here?” he responded.

“We’re family. We’re supposed to be here,” she said. “Even if she was the “golden one.”

That’s what they always called her grandmother, the “golden one.” Cindy had never known what it meant exactly. When she’d asked her grandmother, she’d just shake her head and tell her it wasn’t important.

Cindy had been raised by her grandparents. Yet, all those years, she hadn’t been able to decipher what had created such a rift between her and her two younger siblings. Her grandmother never had a negative word to say about her brother or sister. She seemed to pity them. Maybe now that she was gone, she could uncover the answer.

(04-26-2018, 01:31 AM)Duff Moss Wrote: My offering:

It simply said “If you see Gary, can you ask him where he left the keys to the beer fridge”.

Love it, Duff.
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